Never tell people on Omegle you’re British
“So what’s a crumpet?”
“Can you teach me how to make scones?”
“I bet your accent is adorable!”
“Do you know the queen.”
Yes, I bloody know well the queen and we sit talking in Queen’s English while taking afternoon tea in the goddamn palace.
Anyone watch Phineas and Ferb?
Remember that one episode when Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Vanessa are riding a scooter to the mall and some guy catcalls at Vanessa and Doof turns and is like “She’s sixteen!” and freakin’ shoots him with a gun that sends people to alien dimensions
I don’t even watch this show and that is A+.
come here and let me kiss your face you fucking idiot
- Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
- Skin: Do you tan easily?
- Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
- Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
- Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
- Tongue: What was in your last meal?
- Windpipe: Do you sing?
- Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
- Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
- Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
- Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
- Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
- Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
- Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
- Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
- Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
- Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
- Back: Are you a virgin?
- Hips: Do you like to dance?
- Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
- Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
- Feet: Do you ever wear heels just for the hell of it?
- Toes: Do you like country music?
- Face: Post a pic of yourself
So I’m going through my girlfriend’s archive from before we got together, because I really miss her but can’t talk to her now. I feel like the world’s shittiest person. She’s basically trapped in her home and I don’t even know how she’s doing or what’s happening, and there’s nothing I can do. “Anything for you, angel.” I can’t even get fucking muscles or put on weight for her sake. I even relapsed and cut myself even though I promised her not to hurt myself anymore.
I was gonna go there this August but I fucking can’t because her parents found out.
I don’t even know if she’s happy right now. With life, herself or me. It feels like I’m going to die, and I just want a friend to hold me and let me cry.
The worst part is I’m whining about myself when she is the one that matters.
imagine if you met someone on tumblr and then randomly fell in love with them and skyped for hours on end and finally met them and then after a few years you would get married and have 2 kids named after fictional characters and a house lined with books and boxsets and momentos from all the conventions you attended together and it would all be because you decided to start a dumb blog on tumblr.com
“With this hand,
I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never empty,
For I will be your wine.
With this candle,
I will light your way in darkness.
With this ring,
I ask you to be mine.”
now that I think on it
I’d like it very much
isn’t it weird how we adore all the small things celebrities probably hate about theirselves like that one scar on their face they got when they slipped that one time or that one piece of hair that just won’t seem to stay or how their tummy isn’t completely flat when they sit down yet we can’t do the same for ourselves
I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.
And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…
this will come in handy one day
ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2012: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101
When your friends start picking up phrases you use all the time